May 2012
5 posts
Hearth Gods XXXVI - Non-Fiction Night!
[POET has survived several austere months as a resident artist on the moon, when one day he spots something at the bottom of a huge crater. POET gathers all of his best writing and climbs down the crater.
At the center he finds a BEER-ALIEN surveying the horizon.
He approaches the BEER-ALIEN reverently, holding out his poems and stories in one hand, eyes averted, thinking to himself--Finally, I will be read. Finally, I will be understood...
The BEER-ALIEN takes the pages, leafs through them, and hands them back. He turns to face the Earthrise and burbles.]
POET: But...but why?!
BEER: I MOSTLY READ NONFICTION
April 2012
1 post
March 2012
3 posts
Hearth Gods XXXV - Tonight
BEER: THIS WEATHER IS CRIZY O LOOK A NOONSPAPER!
NEWSPAPER: POET has collapsed! Our moon correspondant reports that due to a lack of audience response and/or oxygen in his quarters, beloved POET has succumbed and is being treated by moonbase staff.
[Brief silence. Feelings.]
BEER: I HAVE BEEN TO LOTS OF PARTIES
AND WAS KIND OF A DICK SOMETIMES
BUT I NEVER ACTUALLY COLLASPED
O POET WE LOVE YOU GET UP
Hearth Gods XXXV
Saturday, Mar. 31, 9pm
******************************
[A desolate moonscape. Earth rises low over the horizon.]
POET: All is folly and vanity. How pitiful are the strivings of men and women?
RADIO: [The radio crackles] SHSHSHHS---BEER?--SHSHSHHS
POET: In this cold serenity I have found true art, I have understood time and--
RADIO: SHSHHHSHSH--COME IN?--SHHSHHHSH
POET: The purest emotions float down to me like pollen from the stars, into the--
RADIO: SHSHHSHS--BEER ARE YOU THERE?--SHSHSHSHSHSHHH
POET: HE'S NOT HERE THIS IS POET! ON THE FUCKING MOON!
RADIO: SHSHSHSHHHSH--SRY! LOOKING FOR BEER--SHSHHHS
* HGXXXV is
- Lucy Alibar!
- Will Arbery!
- Chas Carey!
- Tinky Holloway (of Peoria, IL)!
- Kasia Nikhamina!
- Special Musical Guests SUSPICIOUS HANDBAG!
February 2012
1 post
January 2012
3 posts
Hearth Gods XXXIV
Saturday, Feb. 4, 9pm
******************************
POET: I have news.
BEER: NOONS!
POET: I'm leaving you.
I'm going to live on the moonbase.
BEER: WOF?
POET: It is a clean, dead place where I can be free. Where I can live in my art,
which is all I have wanted to do in the years that are left to me.
...
Are you going to beg me to stay?
BEER: WOULD IT DO ANY GOOD?
POET: No. No, it wouldn't.
BEER: ...
[BEER begins to cry.]
POET: Stop that.
[BEER opens one Brooklyn Lager. Raises it above his head.]
BEER: TO MOTHERFUCKING EARTH
Next Reading: February 4
Theme: BAD DESIRE
Color: MAUVE
Song: “Maggot Brain” - Funkadelic
GET READY
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
2 posts
Hearth Gods XXXIII
Saturday, Nov. 12, 9pm
******************************
POET: One more year, one more layer in my carapace of sadness, one more--
BEER: DUDE.
BEER: DUDE.
POET: What is that...are you talking to me?
BEER: ...
BEER: DUDE.
POET: Sometimes I think you don't understand me at all.
BEER: DUDE!
POET: Fine, that's too strong, but you know what I mean.
POET: I am giving you art and you are just...
BEER: DUDE.
POET: Exactly.
BEER: IT IS A WAY OF UNDERSTANDING
*
YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE HEARTH GODS 6TH ANNIVERSARY ESPECTACULO!
Featuring:
- Knud Adams
- Lucy Alibar
- Patrick Barrett
- Chas Carey
- and Little Lord (a theater company)
September 2011
4 posts
August 2011
1 post
July 2011
3 posts
Hearth Gods XXXI
Saturday, July 16, 9pm ******************************
POET: To learn is to open the mind’s eye / To teach is to open the mind’s heart— BEER: TO DRINK IS TO OPEN THE MIND’S MOUTH AND PUT BEER IN IT
Next week: four lectures from eminent scholars in such fields as: - Ayn Rand Studies - Shattered Skeletons - Rare and Unique Beers of...
May 2011
3 posts
Hearth Gods XXX
Saturday, May 21, 9pm
******************************
POET: The Queen is coming! The Queen is coming!
BEER: QUEENS IS COMING!
POET: Close down the traffic, seal off the manholes
Place a flag in every hand!
BEER: QUEENS IS COMING!
POET: In the lock-down of our hearts
Let the royal party start.
BEER: THE QUEENS IS COMING!
March 2011
4 posts
Next Reading: May 21
Hearth Gods IXXX
Saturday, March 12, 9pm
******************************
POET: O buds O premature birdsong O premature flip-floppers O grass and
the greening of things O tender thaw O pain O springtime--
BEER: OMG ITS SO NICE OUT RIGHT?
...
POET: Sometimes I think you lack delicacy of sentiment.
BEER: O PRECIOUS SEDIMENT O POET O FEEEELINGS
February 2011
1 post
Next Reading: March 12!
Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem: it is his response to his own highest values in the person of another—an integrated response of mind and body, of love and sexual desire. Such a man (or woman) is incapable of experiencing a sexual desire divorced from spiritual values. — Ayn Rand
January 2011
2 posts
Hearth Gods XXVIII
Saturday, January 22, 8.30 pm
******************************
Age Appropriate Items for Human Beings Age 28
DRESS: Non-Distressed ("Calm") Jeans; Casual Bondage; Halter Tops; Halter Bottoms; Wide Wale Corduroy; Best Buy Uniforms
DREAMS: Flying; Floating; Turning into a Cat; Strip Scrabble; Getting Caught in an Avalanche and Digging Yourself Out, Only to Discover Your Wife Has Remarried; Remarrying; You Are a Pie; Sex
ACTIVITIES: Hearth Gods No. 28, January 22 at 9pm.
December 2010
1 post
November 2010
3 posts
Next Reading: January 22
Theme: STITCH, BITCH, AND GET BLASTED
Actual Theme: The European Monetary Union: A Failed Experiment?
Dress Code: Casual hazard gear (men) / Dress mauves (women) / Fur (animals)
Hearth Gods XXVII - The Five Year Anniversary...
Saturday, November 20, 8.30pm
******************************
POET: So it was: five years ago, the first words were spoken, the first poems were read, the first wine was had--
BEER: FIRST BEER
POET: Well, to be historically accurate, it was wine back then. Carlo Rossi White Zinfandel.
BEER: ...
POET: With the little handles for easy pouring.
BEER: YOU CHEATED ON ME
POET: O, we had so little back then, only our happiness, only the gutter spark of our happiness...
BEER: YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH CARLOOOOOOO
(Silence.)
POET: Happy anniversary.
BEER: WHY CARRRRLLLLLOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYYYY
October 2010
1 post
June 2010
3 posts
Hearth Gods XXVI - School Night Edition
Thursday, July 8, 8pm
******************************
(The clock strikes 8pm.)
POET: Wherefore this early hour? It displeaseth me.
BEER: Sorry, it's just that I have a client meeting early tomorrow.
POET: Friday morning?
BEER: Can you believe it? It's like, did I get my MBA for this?
(Laughter. Silence.)
POET: You have an MBA?
BEER: I was going to tell you. There wasn't a good time.
April 2010
3 posts
Swamp Cat at Hearth Gods - February 20, 2010!
Hearth Gods, No. XXV - Spring Yearnings!
Saturday, April 10, 9pm
******************************
POET: Apollo!
BEER: Dionysius!
POET: APOLLO!
BEER: DIONYSIUS!
POET: APOLLO!
BEER: glr*#&#$g!
...
POET: What.
BEER: hungover gru#$&(lga
...
POET: Apollo wins again.
February 2010
2 posts
Hearth Gods, No. XXIV
Saturday, Feb. 20, 9pm
******************************
POET: Against any inclemency of sky, yes
I will be your shelter from the storm--
BEER: SNORM
...
BEER: SNORM! SNORM! SNORM!
POET: ...shelter from the snorm.
BEER: That's so moving, oh my god. Wow. Yes.
POET: ...
BEER: snorm
November 2009
2 posts
Hearth Gods, No. XXIII
Saturday, Dec. 5, 9pm
******************************
POET: It's that time of year. The rats are singing
The servants are nailing up the tinsel
The air is pregnant with religious feeling--
BEER: WHERE IS MY EGGGNOG?
POET: Right here. Under the, uh...the mistletoe.
[ They lock eyes. ]
BEER: YOU POET -- YOU HAVE MY HEART
POET: You have an eggnog mustache.
October 2009
2 posts
Hearth Gods, No. XXII - Fourth Anniversary...
Saturday, Oct. 10, 9pm
******************************
POET: Four years of thankless toil, and no reward, no recognition--
How could they let a man's honest sweat go for nothing?
BEER: ME!
POET: Nothing and beer.
BEER: BEER AND NOTHING!
(Pause.)
POET: You're right.